Living out a dream that's not my own

Who knew that three years from Sophomore year I would be investing my time into hundreds of poverty stricken children who lack the love of Jesus let alone investing my time in a relationship with Jesus Himself. Who knew that one week long trip three years ago would turn into a life long commitment. Who knew that one teen convention three years ago at Lee University would light a spark in my heart for cross cultural missions. Who knew that a conversation with a woman pursuing medical missions three years ago would cause a longing to see hungry children fed physically and spiritually. Who knew that a personal dream to pursue acting would turn into God's dream for me to pursue children and teens hungry for grace in the Dominican Republic. Who knew..... 

I have had to sit down and process what occurred on my previous trip back to the DR last week. I can honestly say it hasn't been anything like the other three trips, including my two month journey there over summer break. Hearts were broken, relationships grew, and Jesus impacted lives like never before... including mine. I went into this trip with a plan, not only for the week but for what was to happen afterwards as well. All of it.... my plans.. my future... was shattered. I can't really tell when it hit me that God had a bigger plan for me and the Dominican Republic. So much happened in the little amount of time that we were there that I really don't know what to think. All I know is that I had plans to attend a 6 month program called YWAM when I returned home after this summer, and now God just wants me to go ahead and move there. 

It all could have hit me when I sat down with Elmun, a boy I have grown to love over the past 3 years, and saw his broken spirit as he explained that his father drinks too much and sometimes lays his hands on the child. It could have hit me when I saw a little boy who hadn't eaten in several days, yet walked up front during an alter call to accept Jesus. It all could have hit me when I held 7 year old Chino in my arms as He cried out for God to enter his heart. All of these impacting moments made me realize something. God doesn't need me in 2 years when I graduate a discipleship program. He doesn't need me when I have a college diploma in my hand or when I find my wife. He needs me now.... there are children who need the gospel now... there are prostitutes, gang members, and drug users who need the gospel of the living Jesus Christ now... 

There is this ocean. And this ocean is deep and dark and no man would dare enter it... but my Abba is asking me to dive right in with no hesitation. With love comes trust, faith, and sacrifice. This ocean.. this sea on unknown is the Dominican. It is my Ninevah. When I arrive, i have no idea what will happen... but that's the best part. I have wanted to plan out and know exactly what I will be doing for my entire life. There has been no trust or faith or sacrifice to hold up the meaning of my love for Jesus. And now... If I want to love God with all of my heart and with abandonment, I must sacrifice. I must have faith that when moments of unknown come my way.. I will not fall to hesitation. I will rise. I will rise above the waves of the powerful ocean and take hold of Christ's hand just as Peter did when he turned his eyes away from the Lord. I want Jesus.. I want him now and tomorrow and the next day and for eternity. If there is no proof backing up my audible "I love yous" then how can I live out this dream of being with Jesus for eternity..... And it hits me... for us to be rewarded with our dreams of eternity with Jesus.. we must fulfill God's dreams for us. And with love and action and truth.