Sunday, June 30, 2013

There will be a day

It has officially been one month since I have left the comfort of my home and moved here where the broken meet the broken. To say that my life has been changed would be an understatement. I have seen and witnessed some breathtaking things and met some very amazing people. I always have to remind myself ,however, to not look at all the bad in this country. Yes, there is alot of heartbreaking stuff that occurs down here, but there has also been things that have mended some much needed areas of my heart.

While walking down the street and seeing children digging through garbage I have to remind myself that those children will most likely feed those in their family first with what they've found and then see what's left for them. While seeing a young boy doing work that an adult should be doing 
I have to remind myself that he probably doesn't have a father and is doing what he can to support his family back at home. When I see very skinny women or girls selling fruit or other types of food on the side of the road, I have to remind myself that they are willingly selling food rather than falling into prostitution.

If you look at this poverty long enough, you'll begin to see the hope that lies within it. You'll meet some amazing people who literally have nothing, yet have anything they could ever need.

She sat down with me and began to explain why she had that hurt in her eyes. I can't remember her name, but her story will stick with me until I die. She lost her husband 4 months ago and while dealing with her grief, she lost her son to sickness. While battling immigration paperwork and money to feed her two kids, she was diagnosed with cancer. She was left with no other options. She had no money to pay for dinner let alone hospital bills, so she became a prostitute. One day she attended a church service. The pastor called her up and knew what she was battling, so he prayed for her sickness to go away. A week later, she went back to the doctor to find that her cancer had gone away.

He was a police officer waiting in the back of a very long line for a clinic a mission team was running. Marcos spotted him and began a conversation. The man had told him that he had very bad vision problems and that this would be his only day to be looked at, for he had work the rest of the week. By God's grace he was taken to the front to be seen. There was only one pair of glasses that could fit with how bad his sight was. When the man placed the glasses on his head, a smile appeared accross his face. He then walked outside and began to weep shouting on the top of his lungs, "I can see! I can see!" The man spent the rest of his day taking in God's beautiful creation.

I see many torn up hearts in this country, but every now and then I come across people like the ones I explained in this post. It makes me leap in my heart because they understand. They understand that even if they have close to nothing, there will be a day where they will have everything. They understand that even if they have no one, there will be a day where their father will be their one and only. They understand that even if they are hungry, there will be a day when there will be no such thing as hunger. That's the faith we all need to have and hold onto. we all always seem to ask the question "why God" when we hear stories or meet people who are poor, but what we regret to understand is that some of these "poor" people have never even asked that question because they are too busy praising God for loving them when no one else would. 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Walking

One of my favorite things to do down here is walking. Many mission teams come down here and do work then leave without forming any type of relationships with the people living here. Although they do an amazing job at providing needs, they never get to witness what love and joy the people living at the place their serving have. 

For the past two weeks, I have been visiting Brises Del Mar and instead of doing VBS or construction all week, I have walked. I leave the team working and walk with people who want to walk with me. I visit their houses, meet their family, play with their children, and just simply walk with them. 

I get to see the children and adults for who they really are. I've met a woman trapped in prostitution because she can't find another way to earn money to feed the mouths of her two children because her husband and youngest child died recently. She has been drowning in grief for so long, and recently had to battle cancer, but she hasn't lost sight of Jesus. In the midst of all of her pain and mistakes, she still holds onto her savior.

I have met a mother and son who were both mentally challenged. They have little money, little amounts of food, no father, yet still seem to smile. They are sick at times with no medicine to take, yet still have hearts of joy.  I also met a woman who had severe autism yet walked to church everytime there was a service. She can't function like normal people, but she sure knows how to worship her creator. She sings the songs, closes her eyes and worships, and sits front row.

I have met a little boy who is both deaf and mute. He can't hear his parents when they tell him they love him. He doesn't have much friends because he was no way to conversate with them. He doesn't know sign language and can't read, but he has a heart. He has a smile. He has a laugh that is contagious. He knows how to love. 

I never knew how big of an impact it would have on me to just walk with the poor. To sit with the poor. To cry with the poor, and to laugh with the poor. I always question myself as to who has been poor this whole time.... Me or these people. I have clothes, food, a house, and money all of which will either erode, dissapear, or decay. These people I've met have joy, faith, strength, love, hope, and courage all of which are needs to be able to survive. 

I'm so overwhelmed to the point of tears due to the fact that I've missed the bigger picture of this life I have been destroying for so long. Life isn't about comfort. It's about community. It's about lifting your brother up. It's about not making sure that just you get to heaven, but that others around you get there as well. It's about standing so those weaker can sit. It's about going without food so others can stay alive. That is the meaning of life, and by walking with these people, I have now come to terms with how I need to live out the rest of my life.

I encourage you to do the same. Don't miss the opportunity when it comes, for you could miss out on some amazing testimonies and some wonderful people. This journey has been one heck of a ride and I'm not hessitant at all to get off. 
Alex

The happiest person I know
The face of Joy

These kids are why I'm here

Thursday, June 27, 2013

My Mission

Have you ever just sat alone and took into depth of what Christ really did for us? He didn't just get up on a cross and call it a day. Jesus lived out his life serving and serving and teaching and preaching to the point of death. He worked himself until it was his time to go, and he didn't even deserve the death sentence he recieved. A man with no chains... A man with no sin... A man burdenless looked at all of us, murderers, liars, cheaters, hearts filled with hatred, and took the fall for it. he threw himself into the train that was supposed to hit us instead. Every time a string from the whip tore off his flesh, He did it so we wouldn't have to. When soldiers drilled nine inch nails into His hands and feet, He endured it so we wouldn't have to. As his children laughed, mocked, cursed, and spit into his face, his heart was screaming, "This is for you!". 

I look at my life and wonder what I can do to repay such a thing done for me. I have searched all my life for that answer and it wasn't until this month that I discovered it. Jesus came into this world to start a movement that we need to finish. He sparked a flame that we need to keep lit. Jesus Christ began a revolution that we need to win. Even though what I can do won't come close to repaying what was sacraficed for me, it can help bring others to him. I want to live exactly as Jesus lived.

I want to give sermons on the mount. I want to feed 500 empty stomaches. I want to heal the sick, make the blind see, and stand up for those who have persecuters getting ready to throw stones at them. You see, just because you read the stories that occured in the Bible doesn't mean that they need to be left in the book. Who says his followers can't make happen what Paul did. What Peter did. What Jesus's disciples did? The world has blinded all of us with so much comfort that we consider being a christian going to church every sunday or dusting off the Bible every now and then.

God called us to do one thing, and that is to make him known! There are so many people who sit at home with so much knowlege and such a strong faith yet they don't use it to the advantage of the lost and broken. The Bible is our medicine to bring the sick back to life. It is the sheild to deflect any false teaching. It is the hope that can be given to those who are hopeless. I have decided to go out and do what Christ has been waiting for us to do all this time, and I ask you to take that leap of faith as well. 












Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Fill Me Up

I apologize for not posting anything lately. I just have had alot that I've needed to process through my mind and pray about. My faith has definately been shaken these past few days. I have come to realize that you can't help everyone. 

When your mind goes into missionary mode, you have this mindset that you can help everyone, when in reality, you just have to step back and let God take over. 

A couple of days ago, I witnessed a terrible wreck involving a tour bus and a truck. Many people lost limbs and lost lives. I saw things that you would only see in horror movies. Things were burned into my memory that I probably won't ever get rid of. 

I also saw children at the age of 8 getting drunk as their parents sat back and laughed. I see kids being influenced by parents who drink, deal and sell drugs, go to women as an escape, leave them outside for the night so mommy can do some "business" inside the house with a customer. What I witnessed was true and utter pain. A type of pain that is only told in books or on tv. 


                        Like I said, you can't help everyone

But it is wrong and causes erosion of the heart to focus mainly on the negative things I've seen. With this pain, I have witnessed things that will always test my faith in a good way. I have met a pastor who gets up at 4 in the morning and prays until 7, and then prays with his wife for 3 hours before he goes to bed. I have seen the glimmer in childrens eyes as they recieved a 25 cent toy. I have seen A man tell a woman about her past and how God has amazing plans for her without even meeting her before. God has tested me and strengthened me at the same time.

Even though I may not be able to help everyone, I can still ask God to fill me up with faith, hope, and courage to accept the things I cannot change, and to fill me up with preperation for what lies ahead. There is a song I encourage all of you to look up tonight and listen to. It is called Fill Me Up by Jesus Culture. Please just take what is said in that song and apply it to your life. I have been broken and confused in the past couple of days and this song described what I must do.

I need to set aside the problems. Set aside the pain. Set aside the unknown, and just ask God to take control and fill me up with as much faith and love as He can, to the point where I explode. Let go and Let God.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Young and the Selfless

The past two days have been very humbling and emotionally unbearable, but unbearable in a good way. This week, I helped a mission team work a medical clinic and Vacation Bible School. The first thing that came to mind was KIDS! For some reason, God has given me the gift of connecting on a emotional and spiritual level with children and teens, and I jump at the chance to get to help out kids. 

I met a group of poverished young boys this week who stole my heart. It wasn't by how cute they were. It wasn't because they were funner to be around. It was because of their humblness and selflessness they had inside themselves. I have all my needs taken care of here. I have food, shelter, and water. 

Yesterday, after the VBS team finished they went home, but I decided to stay until the medical team was done with exams. During that time the group of boys invited me into their homes. They offered me drinks and food and had me sit down as they stood. They had me meet their families and gave me things. 

My heart instantly broke in so many pieces. They have very little and decided to share with me  the little that they did have. I learned a thing or two from them. I learned that no matter what, to live life selflessly. Even if that means going without water for a couple of days just so a guest could have something to drink. Even if it means giving up your lunch for the day just so someone else doesn't have an empty stomach. 

 Here I was thinking I was the one giving to the needy, when I was the one in need all along. It isn't all about having food to eat or water to drink. It's about the inside of your heart. I have met people who are richer than I will ever be yet don't have shoes to put on their feet. They get it. They understand that objects and worldly things don't redeem you. God redeems you. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

My Flesh May fail, but God you never will

Today brought out many emotions. The mission team ran the first ever medical clinic in Brises Del Mar. Many people were helped, but it was the ones who were turned away that hit me the most. From a Child at age 2 who was dehydrated to the point of nearly dying in the medical teams arms to a kid who was badly burnt on the foot ( which would heal if he could keep it clean with purified water, but sadly doesn't own any) that is now open to infection, I had to ask God why? What am I supposed to do in this situation? Then it hit me. 

We come here as missionaries and build walls and heal the sick but what we forget to realize is that in the end, buildings will decay, people will get sick again, and water will disappear. So what's something we can give to them that won't ever leave? FAITH. To build a house for someone is good "work" but to build faith from God into someone is "mission work". 

So, when it comes to those we can't help physically, we must do what God has called his missionaries to do all along. Give them faith. In the end, our body will erode. In the end, our health won't matter. In the end, it's your faith that stays. The most important things is to make sure who you put your faith in. 

You can't put your faith into money, a spouse, a house, clothes, self comfort, shoes, or your health, because when it comes your time to leave this earth, if you've placed your faith into those things, you'll have nothing to show to God. All of those things would have vanished with the rest of the world. Place your faith in Christ for he never dies. He never runs out. He never walks away. He is eternal and therefore your faith shall be also. 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I may be weak, but you spirit is strong in me.

The past few days, many physical and emotional things have been happening. Yesterday, I forgot to drink barely any water all day, and because of it I woke up this morning very weak and dehydrated. While in the DR you sweat every second of the day, indoors or outdoors. So to have no water intake causes severe dehydration. I woke up this morning planning on doing construction all day, but things quickly changed. 

By the time I got out of bed I decided that there was no way I would be working, no matter what Marcos said. I then sat down and began to read my devotional. It talked about being joyful and loving throughout your day. I closed my eyes and began to pray that no matter how much pain I was in, that I would work with a joyful heart. So I did.

We first stopped at Villa Hermosa to say a quick hello to some people then headed out to Brises Del Mar to do construction. Just seeing the sun while getting out of the car made my head throb, but I remembered my devotional. It began to become too much and I told Marcos that I couldn't do construction, but that I didn't want to stay home. I needed to push myself for the love of God. So I stood outside and got to meet some people and get to know them. 

I met a Hatian family who literally had a house maybe a bit bigger than a closet and still smiled. They all lived among thousands of flies, their food had bugs in it, all of their fruit was spoiled, and the children seemed sick, but they still had JOY. 

I was quickly thankful that I didn't stay home. It showed me that their are other people who are hurting but still don't lose sight of Jesus. As I went throught my day today and yesterday I also saw people who were hurting. People who were in pain mentally and physically, yet still smiled. I saw a man with no arms begging on the street. I saw a woman who was mentally dissabled begging on the street. I saw people naked. People with no legs, people who were blind, begging on the street. Yes, they were all begging, but there was one thing I could see in all of them. JOY. I don't know if they knew Jesus, but they showed more Joy than I had and here I am professing to be a Christian. 

No matter the pain, weakness, hurting, dissabillities, never lose sight of your creator. He created us to endure pain and lean on him when we don't think we can handle it. You see, it's not about your weeknesses. It's about the strength of God's spirit inside you that matters. When judgement day comes, even the healthiest man alive could be turned away. I'ts about the joy... the Spiritual Strength... and the blind faith that gets you through those gates. 

Please continue to keep not just me, but the family I'm staying with and the people I mentioned in this post in your prayers. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Home is where the heart is

Some use the word "home" when referring to the place they rest their head at night. I look at "home" as to wherever my heart rests its head at night. Now I do not know if the Dominican Republic will be the place I live in for the rest of my life, but I'm positive that at this moment, my heart has made itself home here. This is my home. In a place where poverty meets passion. A place where blessings overflow the broken. A place where there are odd smells, bugs around every corner, no air condition, water every other day, children begging on the street, dogs and cats roaming all over, and even a place where a white person is rarely present for more than a day. That is what I call home.

Today has been filled with many emotions. I spent my morning through afternoon playing and spending time with the kids of Villa Hermosa. What stands out the most to me is how seperated the street kids and the school kids are. I would spend every second with all of them if I could, but the neighborhood kids aren't aloud in the school and the school kids aren't aloud in the streets until school lets out. I had to go back and forth from talking and playing with the street kids to doing the same with the school children.

Even though at times today it was difficult, I enjoyed every minute of it. I met some old faces and even some new faces today. I said some goodbyes in my heart to some who had moved away in the last couple of months as well. To be away from children who stole your heart hurts, but to return to find that some had moved away broke my heart completely. I can only pray that God had impacted them through me in some way.

I am once again very thankful to those who helped raise money for me to be here this summer. It has been only one week and I have already been moved in many ways. I do not know what lies in my future completely after high school, but what I do know is that once I hit 18, I am moving out of the United States. my home will then be decided on wherever God and my heart takes me. It may be here.... or Africa... or Russia.... or Haiti.... who knows... but I do know that after living so long in a country where everyone feels too comfortable with their life, it's time I stand up and find a place outside of my comfort zone. You see, God did not call us to be safe. He did not call us to feel comfort. He called us to go make disciples of the nations. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Trust God

Hello everyone! Things are going good here for me! I rode a motorcycle for the first time in Dominican traffic! If you didn't know already, there are  pretty much no laws when it comes to driving in the DR. Everyone just drives however they want to, so it was a big deal when I finally rode on a motorcycle haha.

I think one of the most challenging things I have to deal with on a day to day basis is speaking spanish. I barely know any so I have a hard time communicating with children and adults. Another thing that has become challenging is trusting people I have become close to down here. A couple days ago I donated a handful of backpacks to a school in Villa Hermosa. Yesterday, the prinicipal sent me a picture of Chino and his siblings and grandmother holding 4 of the backpacks. Today when I visited the family, something unexpected left her mouth. 

When I sat down with the grandmother, she said she needed backpacks. That means she or another family member sold or took the backpacks I had given to them. Why would this happen? Why would adults deprive a child of a gift that was given to them?

As I began to grow angry I realized not to lose sight of God. He has a plan and reason for all that is happening. I may not know it now, but I just have to put my trust and faith in him. I encourage you back at home to trust God throughout your day, even if things don't seem to make sense, because he has a reason for all that is happening. Just because you can't see the end of the tunnel right now, doesn't mean it has ended. Be patient and God will provide.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Street Ministry

Today I spent my time with the mission team from Tennessee. We went to the a store similar to Walmart but dominican style called "Jumbo". The minute I arrived, God spoke to me to help someone. I had no idea who, but I felt the need to help someone. Usually I would think that He would call me to help people when I was in Brieses Del Mar or Villa Hermosa, but for some reason He tugged on my heart to help someone at a place where most wealthy people shop. 

While the rest of the team shopped and ate ice cream, I stood by the opening door to Jumbo and looked outside to see two little boys begging on the street. I immediately called them over and took them inside for some ice cream. Then I began to get to know them. I learned that they were Christian but didn't attend church. They also never owned a bible and their father was not Christian. 

after they finished their ice cream they went outside to wash windows and beg again. God spoke to me told me I wasn't finished with them just yet. I then went inside and bought two Bibles and gave them to the boys (Junior and I can't remember the other boys name). They got big smiles and thanked me. God still wasn't finished with me. I opened up a handbook I had and began to tell them how Money does not save you, but God saves you. Then I read them scripture.

I got on the bus and watch as the boys proceeded to gather a group of people around them and began reading the Bible and telling others what I had done and given to them. Multiple adults walked up to the bus and asked me to come out and then told me that they wanted a Bible too. I had no more money at the time, but I told them that I would return. 

I owe all of what happened to God. He spoke through me today and because of that others were witnessed to. God works in some amazing ways and I thank Him for calling me to be here in the Dominican Republic. 

What I would lke to tell you guys and encourage you to do is to be a witness everywhere you go. Not just on a mission trip once a year or at church on Sunday morning, but everyday and everywhere. People believe that there could only have been disciples in the Bible and that after it was finished, there are no such things, but that is false. God has called his children to prosper his Kingdom. What will you do today to grow his kingdom?

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Love That Casts Out Fear

When working in the name of God, Satan is known to mess things up. He has tried countless times with me lately. he knows I can only go up from here, so he tries to bring my past back to haunt me. The past two nights I have had dreams... well nightmares about two men killing me. This is not the first time this dream has happened and if I were to not have been a Christian, I would drown in fear of them.

You see, when I was younger two men came into my home and held me and my family hostage at gunpoint. They took our money, broke many of our things, and physically hurt me. Since then I have done nothing but live in fear. After every nightmare I would cry and be afraid to be awake and asleep. I would drive myself insane.

Fear took a foot hold of the majority of my life, but then I went on a little trip to the Dominican Republic in February. There, I felt no fear. I felt no anxiety. I felt SAFE. Why? because for the first time in my life, I felt God's presence with me. 

God has transformed me so much that all I can do now is stand in awe as He continues to do work. I never would have thought I'd enter a foreign country for 2 months ALONE at the age of 16, but God held my hand. I never would have thought that I would be able to sleep in a house with a family whom I have only met twice with no bulglar alarm, no security and no glass to cover the windows, but God was with me. 

the number one thing that has eliminated my fear is my love for my God. His love casts out all fear. If you just woke up and threw away your pride and took hold of God's hand He will demolish all of your fear. You can not breathe the breath of christ if you are drowning in fear. You must Swim to the top of the water, reach out to God and let him pull you out. Take that leap of faith and he will transform you into someone you never thought you could be. He will get you to do things that you told yourself your whole life you could not do. Love casts out all fear! Just look what He did to me!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Reunited

Today was amazing! At first we attended a church and helped fix it up a bit with another group from Tennessee. Then we stopped by Briezes Del Mar and got to see the progress it had. ( to everyone in my last mission team who worked there all week, the school has all its walls built and they are now working on pouring cement for the roof) Then me and Marcos visited Villa Hermosa!!! I finally got to see my kiddos again. 

Let me tell you a little something about Villa Hermosa. When I first went there in 2012, God placed a small group of amazing boys in my life. Since then, we have grown to be inseperable. Every time I visit, They cling to me and let no one else come near me haha. Three boys in particular that have become family are Chino Nino and Manuel. They stole my heart the minute I met them. I came on my first trip and saw all of these children immediately swarm me, but God wasn't calling me to minister to them just yet. he was calling me to reach the ones who stood in the back and were quiet. That is when I met the three amigos.

Their story is truly heart breaking. When they were young, their father committed suicide, permantly deleting himself from their lives. Thy have since then grown up in a house the size of a bathroom with no influence in their life to learn right and wrong from. That is why God called me to help these boys. Since my first trip, I have formed a bond with these three that has become un breakable. Words cannot describe my passion and love for these boys. Never in my life have i cried so hard when I had to leave them in February. They are like children to me and part of my whole reason to coming here is to bring love and christ to these boys due to their lack of it throughout their lives. 

It is impossible for one person to save everyone. But what is possible is to start with one little family. A family who is so beyond broken that they have lost all hope. A family who has not heard of love. A family who has so much potential, yet holds back  in fear of failure as their parents have. You can start with one family, and then watch as they transform everyone around them. I am blessed to be here and I ask you guys at home to please pray for my kiddos. God bless everyone!





Sunday, June 2, 2013

Special heart for special needs

Today was a very relaxing day for the Lykin family and I. I got to visit his church which had an amazing church family and a wonderful style of teaching. They taught in a way that reached out to both the youth and adults and brought them closer to Christ. 

After church, We returned to the house and I was able to meet some of the Lykin family's neighbors. One little boy by the name of Alex had special needs. Physically he was 9, but mentally he was about 6 years old. What I find very sad is that most people in the D.R. find children with special needs to be cursed or "dirty". No one has been taught how to actually care for children who have this illness. Marcos and many other missionary families who live down here have a heart for people like Alex, but everyone else treats them very differently.

I have a special place in my heart for kids like Alex. Although I am not very skilled in communicating with children with special needs, they fill me with joy. I have a family member who has a small case of autism, but is so spiritual and joyful that it is literally contagious. My cousin is constantly putting everyone above himself and does a better job at his faith than I ever could. Although he is very sick and may not have much longer to live, he takes living life to the fullest on a whole new level. He doesn't do daring tasks, but rather takes the time he has to minister and reach out to others through his faith. He may be physically weak, but his heart is stronger than ever. People like my cousin... people like Alex.. give me hope to one day be as fearless and strong in my faith as they are on a day to day basis. Praise God for reminders like them. Praise God....

See with your heart, not with your eyes

   Well, I have safely arrived in the Republica Dominicana! When it comes to God shining a light in my eyes this summer, I expected that to not happen until I arrived, but He had already started to work in my life on the airplane ride from Nashville to Atlanta. This was not one of my happy moments, but one I can learn greatly from. 

   As we were being seated, I saw my place and next to my seat was what I thought was a man at first. As I got closer I realized it was just a woman with short hair and a few manly features. I did what anyone following what the "WORLD" says and automatically judged her. As the plane ride proceeded I was hessitant to even pull out my bible because I thought she would immediately start judging me (although the whole time there I was judging her) What happened next was speachless to me.

She asked me where I was headed and without even mentioning God I had said on a missions trip to the Dominican Republic. She then proceeded to tell me how she had done missions her entire life and was currently on a millitary missions trip around the globe. She then gave me advice on faith and how to make sure your doing what God has called you to do. It didn't stop from there. She then pulled out her Bible and began her own devotion. 

   It left me in a moment of guilt and awe at the same time. Here I was professing to be a christian yet hiding in fear that someone would judge me and my faith, yet that person I was judging ended up being the one to humble me. I can tell ya, I walked away from that situation never to hide my faith again. Even if it meant awkward situations or getting chewed out. God never seems to unamaze me. God has called us to see with our hearts and not with our eyes, because the world is an expert at fogging our vision... 

(sorry if i mispelled things. I am using a computer meant for spanish speaking people and spell check is messed up)