Spiritual Preperation

   I never knew that one small week long trip two years ago would change into a life long commitment. 4 months ago, I returned from my second trip to the Dominican Republic and now in just 4 days I'm returning to spend my whole summer there. Although the physical preparation is very stressful, the spiritual preparation is what I seem to be struggling with. 

   I am beyond ready to leave and serve, but letting God take complete control is very difficult. Satan has been tempting me in many ways and has weakened my heart. I would be lying if I said the anxiety isn't killing me. This will be my first time flying alone and being in a huge airport alone. And did I mention that I am traveling to a different country ALONE? I will be spending all summer without my friends, some of whom I won't see when I return due to them going away to college. I will also be living with a family of 8, only two of whom know English.

   Placing these issues in God's hands is very challenging, but to have trust issues with God is foolish. I know He is in control and through prayer, I can conquer these obstacles. When you are at your weakest, you seem to forget what you were shown in the light, so adding to the anxiety I also have joy. 

   Joy because in 4 short days I will be reunited with the precious kids God placed in my heart. Joy because I get to be alone with God again. Joy because I will get to go where the broken meet the broken and worship the one who heals. 

   I am blessed to have the opportunity to return, and although my heart has become weak, God's spirit is alive in me.