You called me out upon the waters

I dream about them when I am asleep. I dream about them when I am awake. I see them while watching  children at my school and church run and play. I see them when I am listening to music that talks about going out and reaching the lost. I see them every...single...day. But the thing is, I can't walk with them. I can't hug them, kiss them on the forehead, read the Bible to them, laugh with them, or run with them. I can't see their face, hear their voice, or feel their warmth as they jump into my arms. And I miss them deeply. I would give anything at this point to even hear the voice of my boys. 

It has been one month and 9 days since I have returned from the Dominican Republic , and it has felt like years to me. Although I could sit in my own pile of misery, I however will use this longing to minister to children as fuel to reach the ones that live around me. Life since my return has been anything but a walk in the park! I have been busily working to begin a movement within my own town. I am now a student leader at my school that helps guide others by being an example of Christ. I am a helper at my church's children's ministry and I also have begun a ministry organization called, "Hope Missions Ministries". It will eventually become a non profit, but for right now me and a group of peers are leading it by going out and ministering to those in the Nashville area. So, as you can tell, I have not even thought of resting since my return. I want to be so in love with God that it literally takes the breath out of me.

I know that at this moment, I will not let Satan gain control. He knows my heart for missions across the waters and will do anything in his power to ruin it for me. So instead of bowing to the evil one and wallowing in sadness while I am home, I will take this opportunity to take my bucket to the waters edge and be filled up by Christ so that when I go back (in 5 months) to my home, I will have enough of God to fill the hearts of those who are broken. Just because I left my heart in the Dominican, doesn't mean I left my God. He is my everything! He is my right now, my today, my tonight, my tomorrow, MY LIFE! And I will not fall, I will not collapse! I will not submit to failure or to doubt, or to depression for my God is so much bigger than that! He has a will and plan for my life and I need time to be filled up so that I may take my bucket full of water and distribute it to those who have become thirsty. 

Romans 15:13

New International Version (NIV)

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.