Saying goodbye.

Time is almost up for me here. With three days left I look back at to who I was three days before I arrived. I was full of fear, anxiety, and doubts about what my time here would be like. I look at where I am now and am so greatful I took a step onto the plane. Not only am I returning home without fear or anxiety, but I am going home with a renewed relationship with both God and my family. We have just skyped and talked on the phone, but by just doing that we have grown closer and mended old wounds that have distanced ourselves from each other. When you do what God calls you to do he seems to bless you.. and then some. 

With three days approaching, I have had to say some goodbyes that have broken me to the core. When you spend everyday with people for two months, they become closer than you could ever imagine. The hardest thing for me is having to say goodbye to the children. Parents, I now understand the bond you have for your children and why you worry about them so much. These kids have become family and to have to let go and leave them for a very long time has brought so much pain to my heart because to not be in the know of what they are doing or if their parents are actually caring for them or if they are hanging out with the wrong type of friends scares me. That is one thing I have to learn to be at peace with. I have to have peace with the fact that I am leaving them not knowing if they are going to be okay. and it hurts 10x more when they hold onto you begging you not to leave them. Although it hasn´t hit me that I won´t be seeing the faces of the children I have grown so close to everyday, I´m sure it will when I wake up and notice that I´m a country away from them and that I won´t be going to visit them everyday. 

I´m going to miss walking into the neighborhood and having Tato and Miguel jump into my arms and them bursting out into contagious laughter after I start tickling them. I´m going to miss those long hugs Andrecia gives me when she sees me. I´m going to miss sitting with Enrique as he lays in my lap and looks up at me smiling with his crooked teeth. I´m going to miss Julie calling me crazy every five minutes. I´m going to miss little David punching and kicking me. I´m going to miss Nino sitting next to me and not getting on my shoulders, but quickly climbing on top of me when kids aren´t looking. I´m going to miss Carlito asking me loads of questions. I´m going to miss when Angelica Maria runs quietly behind me and places my arm around her. I´m going to miss Angel Manuel and how he acts cool around his friends but runs up and hugs me when his friends leave. I am going to miss all those days when I would walk into the market with Junior and Heremiah and have icecream with them as they joked about hooking me up with a Dominican girlfriend.I have grown to memorize what these kids are like and what makes them both happy and sad. They each have a special place in my heart and I thank God that they were placed before me. 

Thank you! Thank you! thank you! to those who made it possible for me to be here. A special thanks to my parents for believing in me and encouraging me throughout these two months. Thank you to Mallory, Elora, Papa K, and Stephanie for witnessing to me through your walk in Christ. Thank you Mrs. Marie, Taylor, Jordan, Mrs. Annette, and whoever else donated supplies for me to hand out to the poor here. And a big thank you to my Savior for holding my hand every step of the way. This will be my last post for a while so thank you to those who have been following and sharing my blog :) love you guys!