Fill Me Up

I apologize for not posting anything lately. I just have had alot that I've needed to process through my mind and pray about. My faith has definately been shaken these past few days. I have come to realize that you can't help everyone. 

When your mind goes into missionary mode, you have this mindset that you can help everyone, when in reality, you just have to step back and let God take over. 

A couple of days ago, I witnessed a terrible wreck involving a tour bus and a truck. Many people lost limbs and lost lives. I saw things that you would only see in horror movies. Things were burned into my memory that I probably won't ever get rid of. 

I also saw children at the age of 8 getting drunk as their parents sat back and laughed. I see kids being influenced by parents who drink, deal and sell drugs, go to women as an escape, leave them outside for the night so mommy can do some "business" inside the house with a customer. What I witnessed was true and utter pain. A type of pain that is only told in books or on tv. 

                        Like I said, you can't help everyone

But it is wrong and causes erosion of the heart to focus mainly on the negative things I've seen. With this pain, I have witnessed things that will always test my faith in a good way. I have met a pastor who gets up at 4 in the morning and prays until 7, and then prays with his wife for 3 hours before he goes to bed. I have seen the glimmer in childrens eyes as they recieved a 25 cent toy. I have seen A man tell a woman about her past and how God has amazing plans for her without even meeting her before. God has tested me and strengthened me at the same time.

Even though I may not be able to help everyone, I can still ask God to fill me up with faith, hope, and courage to accept the things I cannot change, and to fill me up with preperation for what lies ahead. There is a song I encourage all of you to look up tonight and listen to. It is called Fill Me Up by Jesus Culture. Please just take what is said in that song and apply it to your life. I have been broken and confused in the past couple of days and this song described what I must do.

I need to set aside the problems. Set aside the pain. Set aside the unknown, and just ask God to take control and fill me up with as much faith and love as He can, to the point where I explode. Let go and Let God.